(I know the divorce isn't 'final' yet, but for the sake of simplicity I'm just referring to myself as divorced.)
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and it's weird being divorced on a holiday. I opted not to do a big thing on Thanksgiving Day; X is packing for his own move and my sister is coming in Saturday so I will cook then. I told X he is welcome to come by - he was kind of unsure, but then he and my sister never quite saw eye to eye.
I said "You have to eat at some point - may as well eat turkey with your kids," and he said "Yeah, that's true..." I asked if he thought my sister would be rude or hateful, and he shook his head. I know he's embarrassed. I don't even want to think what HIS family will say about ME.
Oh well. I'm spending tomorrow writing, and might pick up a load or two from the old house and bring it over - all my books (2 1/2 bookshelves!) are still over there.
Side note - I really, really wish that the teensy gold ants would have shown up before I moved all my stuff in - spraying now is gonna be a pain. They instantly appear from nowhere if a crumb gets dropped - I opened my lovely chocolate orange to give the kids a slice, and set it on my desk - in minutes it was covered with ants and I swear I had seen not ONE all day.
I'm finding it hard (A) to ask X for help and (B) not to ask X for help. It just feels weird. How much do I let him help and how much do I try to do on my own? I mean, hooking up the stove (had to change the plug out) was beyond my ken, and paying $100 or more to have an electrician do it seemed ridiculous when X could do it in 15 minutes.
I've decided to let him do stuff like that - it's for the kids, right? - but I know I can't be too dependent. Another tightrope to walk. Sigh.
The Lovers (2015)
10 years ago
My first Christmas as the ex I drove 45 miles that morning on snowy, empty highways to go see my kids -- in the living room I decorated in the house I built. "For the kids." Awkward? Oh, yeah. Those were the loneliest 90 miles I've driven in a long, long time. It does get easier, though.
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